LORELEI (leavme2mygarden) wrote in achingxbeauty,

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the first time hurts the most

why is this happening? this never ending pain? why wont it stop? everyone i know seems to hurt me. everyone. they betray me in some way i didnt find possible. i want to be able to watch a love movie without crying fro fear itll never happen to me. i want to be able to see his face without bursting into tears, knowing he doesnt love me back. i dont want to cry everytime i hear a sad song, i dont want to scream everytime i see a happpy couple. i give up. i give up at love, at life, at art, at music, i give up everything i love, becasue i know it will find a way to hurt me. nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard...im going back to the start. " dont give up, its not ur fualt, ur to young to give up" od shut up!! stop trying to make me feel better, stop trying to make me love myslef. right now...it wont work, maybe in a week, maybe in a day, but not right now. i cant deal with it right now. its christmas, its new years, its frickin life! i want to live it! i dont want to waste it in pain, yet i do anyways?
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